Since the beginning of time sex workers have been knocked and criticized for offering intimate services. The stigma surrounds the line of work that suggests sex workers are some of the lowest beings you will ever meet! This is often due to the dominant media, politics, religious views, of the area you’re located in, and, the laws surrounding sex work. Something that often blows my mind is that this stigma exists not only outside of sex work, but within sex work. Have you ever had a job where you feel total social isolation and hate from society, but also the clients seeking the services offered to them? If you have, then you know what I mean when I say, the feeling is quite despicable. As a sex worker we receive backlash from many areas but more times than not, it's from our very own clients! How could this be? How could I offer something to someone and receive such hate? How can someone know what they’re getting into, and add to the problem instead of trying to fix problems? How do we come together to fix it?
Let’s open our minds! Take a walk in someone else’s shoes. Do you want to do something for someone that just treated you poorly? Do you want to do something for someone that has just asked you to reduce your asking price by fifty percent? My answer to that is no. No, I do not! Having discussions with friends in the industry, it is a turn-off for nearly everyone in the field and lands many on a blacklist. Your opportunity is instantly gone because who you were doing business with felt disrespected. It’s 2023, times have changed drastically for many. The cost of living is through the roof, inflation is nuts, food is expensive, gas is expensive, and the number of humans with mental health concerns is at an all-time high. You have no idea what another person is going through. You can think you know, but you honestly have no idea! You don’t know a stranger’s circumstances, what walk of life they are on, or how they ended up where they are to begin with. So, open your mind. Sex workers are not looking for you to know every detail of why they are the way they are. Sex workers simply want to be respected for the service they’re offering and to be properly compensated for time spent.
In this industry, more times than not, the client is seeking services that they can’t find elsewhere. Or maybe they have a secret fantasy they want to bring to life and they’re unable to find the fantasy in their personal life for whatever reason. Which brings me back to - my mind is blown with the amount of disrespect dealt from within. I think that many forget that this is a professional service.
Would you go see your professional tattoo artist and ask for a discount on a tattoo? You could try, but more times than not, you’re going to be asked to leave.
Would you call the lawn service and tell them you’re not going to pay their asking price? What if their response to you is something like. “Thank you for letting us know! We have so many other yards to maintain!” Now, you need to get another lawn service.
Would you call up your attorney that spent years in college and gained tons of experience and tell them that you are not going to pay for them to take a case for you? You could, yes, but more times than not, that professional attorney is going to say. You have a right to an attorney. That attorney just isn’t me. Now you must find another attorney. What if you had a special case and that’s the only attorney in the area, maybe even in the STATE! You’re going to have to cover that attorneys’ fees if you need the service they offer, or you may just have to see who the court appoints.
What makes so many think it’s okay to do the same to a sex worker? The person spending time with you online, the one sending you content, the one giving you a massage, the one opening and sharing themselves with YOU! The one that may be in an area where the stigma is higher than most, or where the service may even be against the law (like most US states). The one that may offer a service that others don’t, that may fit the description you are looking for perfectly.
“My Rate is Not UP For Debate.” This is a professional service. A huge part of a professional service is making things easy! That service provider has removed any real-life interference you may have. They are offering you a safe place for pleasure. This pleasure can be sought with no strings attached. It is understood. That is what I am referring to when I say easy. So why do so many think it's okay to have a rate debate? Did you look at me like an object, like a used car? Or did you look at me like a person?
As shocking as it may be, that’s what we are. People. We are humans with lives, dreams, goals, feelings, perspectives, opinions, wants, needs, and desires. Just like the ones seeking our services are. Just like you. It took time for someone to become what they have become. Maybe they are a master. Maybe they’re a novice. Maybe they are okay with this, but they are not okay with that. Maybe it took them all day to get ready and do a photoset that will be used to please you. Maybe they have a relative that is sick and they’re doing everything they can to provide care for their loved one. You never know. Sex workers are human beings that deserve the same respect as any other service provider.
If we want to end the stigma around anything involving sex work, if we want to change the media, politics, and the laws surrounding sex work, we must start from within. We must have empathy for each other and understand that this is a professional service being offered. It doesn’t matter if it’s a live cam session, photo set, lap dance, massage, full service, or anything else under the sun being offered in the adult industry. These are all professional services and deserve to be treated as such. The rate the person has set for the service they offer should not be up for debate.
This is simply a perspective from a provider who is from, and still lives in, the south. My entire life I’ve been able to emphasize with people in many different walks of life. I guess that is why I am here spreading knowledge and awareness to others. In a dark world, I want to bring joy, happiness, and comfort. I want everyone to thrive, succeed, and enjoy what they’re doing. I think we could make this happen. I think we can reverse the stigma. I think we can have an incredible time in this industry. I think I speak for many when I say, the way to be the ‘ULTIMATE’ client is by using a little more empathy, understanding, and knowing that the rate for the professional service we have taken the time to provide you, is not up for debate.
Are you a sex worker with a story, opinion, news, or tips to share? We'd love to hear from you!
We started the tryst.link sex worker blog to help amplify those who aren't handed the mic and bring attention to the issues ya'll care about the most. Got a tale to tell? 👇☂️✨
